How to Make Your Owner Feel Better During a Heartache, a Guest Blog by Day-Ay the Dog

 

(Day-ay, a Yorkie-Chihuahua mixed breed, is filling in for me today.)

Humans are very serious creatures, and sometimes they lose their packs. They call this a heartache, and you’ll notice the signals right away. They will sleep more. They won’t want to take you on long walks and they will cry, that water-salt coming from their eyes.

As their fellow pack member, this is what you can do to help them feel better.

First: Calm yourself. Don’t jump around or try and play. Watch her for a while and listen for the howling, mournful sound coming from her. Go to her, look at her, and sit at her feet. If she is sitting still, jump up onto the couch next to her. Put your head on her lap and sigh.

Second: Are her eyes watering? Has she laid her head down? Lick her eyes if she’ll let you. They are salty in flavor, and they may water harder when you do this. And she might also stroke you or give you a squeeze or pull you in close. If she does, remember to make a little satisfying noise because she likes that.

Third: When she eventually gets up, follow her. Wag your tail, but not too hard. Let her take the lead and then watch her to see what she is doing. Is she going to the refrigerator? Go sit near your food bowl, and look at her. Wag your tail some more. Sometimes, with heartache, you will get extra food. Pay attention to her, and see what she is going to eat. Watch. Wag. If she leaves her food, this is a good time to steal a little and not be punished for it.

Fourth: When you see the opportunity, seize the moment to become the Alpha dog. Your human will not want to do things, but it is bad for her to stop her routine. Is she forgetting walks? Get your leash and take it to her. Put it down at her feet. Whimper. If that does not work, then bark. Just once. Maybe twice. Work to convince her to do things you want. It will benefit her to be led at this time.

Fifth: When the object of her heartache calls on the little bright rectangle, you will know it by the tone of her voice. Start to growl. Make sure she hears you and listen to see if her blah blah blahs are sad or angry. If they are either of those, then growl again to show your moral support. However, if she laughs or is happy, then it probably means her heartache is fixed. While she is busy talking, you can pretty much help yourself to the leftover fried chicken on the table. It's not good for her anyhow and, as it is heartache food, she will probably throw it out anyway.